Hello guys, Let’s talk about community! Since it’s Mental Health Awareness Month - hopefully, you know that this theme of community is something we talk about all the time anyway… but maybe you’re new here, and if you are, you are so welcome ❤️
When I was thinking about what I wanted to discuss this week, I considered some of my favourite scriptures that I thought I could share. I ruminate on these often - they help me navigate community, remind me that I am supposed to be around people, and that I cannot do this life alone.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NLT)
We live in a world today that teaches us we can be an independent hunny, that we don’t need anyone, and that we can thrive and make it happen all by ourselves. The truth is - you probably can. But at what cost? What does burnout look like for you if you don’t know how to collaborate, how to delegate, or how to ask for help?
I know that might feel challenging to read, and maybe even confronting - to be honest with yourself that perhaps you enjoy having full control over things.
Sometimes, even as a business start-up owner, you can fall into the trap of thinking: “It’ll take more time to train someone - I’ll just do it myself.”
Yes, that might be true in the short term. But in the long term, you’ve managed to train someone to do something in the way that you like and see fit. You’ve offloaded some of your work. And you’ve actually built your business, because it’s now no longer just you doing everything.
I love this part: “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.”
I’m sure, like me, you’ve faced some battles - and I can confidently say that those battles have been much easier to fight when I haven’t done it alone. When I’ve been able to cry and process with friends and loved ones, when I’ve given myself space to sit in the ache of the pain, to emotionally deal with the circumstance. If I believe that there is a God, I certainly also believe that there is a devil - an accuser, constantly trying to keep me by myself, isolated and alone. We must watch out for the plan of the devil; he never wants you to live in community or have people around you.
When you have people around you, they see your blind spots. They see the areas that perhaps you don’t quite notice. And the truth is, if the enemy keeps you isolated, there’s no one to tell you about the areas you may need to work on - the areas that might be holding you back, the ones that are more destructive than helpful.
I had a conversation this week with someone in my family, about how I always want to be someone who can tell the truth - even if the truth hurts. Because that, for me, is real love. I don’t want to always be a “yes” person, and then walk away thinking, hmm, there’s something they need to work on.
I’m okay if people don’t like me in the moment. I’ve witnessed in my own life how people have loved me by telling me the truth. I didn’t like them in that moment, but later down the line, I thanked them immensely for the way they stood on truth.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)
One thing I am constantly discussing at our events - and wanting to teach people - is to consider who we have around us, and the impact they have on our environment.
It is vital that we understand the influence of those around us. Whether we like it or not, we do care what people think - maybe not all the time, and maybe not every person. But we are wired for connection. We are wired to live in community.
Sometimes you might have a negative co-worker, or a negative housemate - and in those moments, it’s quite difficult not to let their negativity influence your mindset and how you see the world.
I think the first step is being aware of that, and then making sure that when you talk to them, you’re conscious and careful about what you discuss - knowing that they’re likely to have a negative perspective on what’s going on.
If you know me personally, you probably know that I’m the kind of person who finds the positive in everything. I catch myself quite quickly if I notice negativity or complaints coming out of my mouth. I’ve been on a journey in recent years to make sure it’s not toxic positivity. I’m okay with owning that things are hard or that I’m not okay in a moment.
But I’m also very careful about who I share those feelings with. There are certain people I just can’t talk to when I’m not feeling positive - because they aren’t going to feed me with encouragement or hope for the future. And that can be detrimental to my mental health.
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT)
I’ll finish with this scripture, and encourage you to speak life into those around you.
Maybe you grew up with the same phrase I did: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I wish I could go back and speak to my nine-year-old self and let her know that this is a total lie. The words we hear - and the words spoken to us - are incredibly powerful.
I can’t control all the words people say to you throughout the day. But I can promise you that when you read one of our newsletters, when you come to one of our workshops, when you watch one of our OnDemand sessions - you will hear words of encouragement.
Words of hope. Words that remind you: you have so much goodness inside of you.
My personal mission with Modelme is to help people understand how to gain access to the incredible value they have inside of them.
And I truly believe that words of encouragement can help unlock this for people.
Questions to reflect on:
1 - Who in your life truly helps you grow, and how can you nurture those relationships?
2 - Are there any areas where you’ve been isolating yourself, and what would it look like to invite someone in?
3 - What kind of words are you speaking into others, and yourself, this week?
